Mahabharat simplified ( a copy paste from an email based on tweets on Twitter )

The Mahabharata has around 1 lakh verses contained in 18 chapters. Can an epic of such proportion be summarized in just 36 tweets, which has a character limit of only 140 characters? Sounds crazy, right? But not for eminent mythologist and storyteller, Devdutt Pattanaik. He tweeted the whole story of Mahabharata in 40 minutes with the help of 36 tweets, proving the age old adage right that says brevity is the soul of wit. Hats off …

01/36 Prince of Hastinapur , Bhisma . He gives up sex & inheritance so that his father can marry an ambitious fisherwoman

02/36 Fisherwoman Satyavati’s sons die childless. Sage Vyasa is called to impregnate the 2 widows who beget 2 sons: 1 blind & 1 pale

03/36 Pale younger Pandu gets crown, 2 wives and curse of death if he touches a woman. Effectively childless, he withdraws to forest

04/36 Blind elder Dhritarashtra becomes regent and clings to throne. He gets a wife Gandhari who blindfolds herself

05/36 Pandu’s 1st wife Kunti uses a mantra and compels 3 Gods to give her 3 sons. Same mantra gets 2nd wife Madri twin sons

06/36 Impatient and frustrated Gandhari strikes pregnant belly. Out comes a ball of flesh that Vyasa transforms into 100 sons

07/36 Dhritarashtra’s 100 Kauravs raised in palace. Pandu’s 5 Pandavs raised in forest. Pandu dies soon after. Madri kills herself

08/36 Orphaned Pandavs return to palace with Kunti and raised alongside resentful Kauravs. Bhisma appoints Drona as joint tutor

09/36 As tuition fee for martial training Drona demands half of Panchala kingdom to settle an old score. Pandavs make it happen

10/36 Blind uncle gifts triumphant Pandavs a (lac) palace. Kauravs set it aflame. Pandavs escape bid on life and hide in forest

11/36 In forest mighty Pandav Bhim kills barbarian Baka & Hidimba and marries their sister Hidimbi who begets a son Ghatotkacha

12/36 Panchala-king Drupada hopes to avenge division of his kingdom through daughter Draupadi and sons Shikhandi and Dhristadhyumna

13/36 Talented charitable Karna disqualified from archery contest at Panchala as he is charioteer’s foster son, unworthy of princess

14/36 Archer Pandav Arjun disguised as priest wins contest; wins Draupadi; shares her with brothers on mother’s orders

15/36 Pandavs meet and befriend their cousin Krishna at Panchala archery contest. Receive support on revealing true identity

16/36 With Krishna as friend and Draupada as father-in-law, Pandavs boldly return to Hastinapur and claim their father’s inheritance

17/36 Kingdom divided. Pandavs get the forest of Khandava, which they burn and clear to build fabulous city of Indraprastha

18/36 Arjun, exiled for intruding Draupadi’s privacy, travels, meets and marries Uloopi, Chitrangada and Krishna’s sister, Subhadra

19/36 Guided by Krishna, Bhim kills mighty Jarasandha in duel. Impressed, all kings attend eldest Pandav Yudhishtir’s coronation

20/36 Jealous Kaurav Duryodhan & cunning ShakuniMama invite Pandavs to gamble. Yudhishtir loses kingdom, himself, brothers and common wife Draupadi

21/36 Jubilant Kaurav Dushasan tries disrobing haughty Draupadi to humiliate Pandavs but she is rescued by Krishna’s miracle

22/36 Draupadi swears to tie hair after washing it in Dushasan’s blood. Unnerved Kauravs grant Pandavs 1 more game to win back kingdom

23/36 Pandavs lose. Exiled in forest for 13 years. Final year as servants: humiliation as well as lesson in humility

24/36 Exile over. Kauravs refuse to return Pandav land. Peace efforts fail. Pandavs declare war with 7 armies. Kauravs have 11

25/36 Armies meet at Kurukshetra. Before war, Arjun loses confidence. Krishna gives him perspective (Bhagavad Gita). 18-day war starts

26/36 Bhisma can choose hour of death; blocks victory; lowers bow before transsexual Shikhandi; pinned to ground by Arjun’s arrows

27/36 Drona is next commander; ruthlessly breaks all rules of war; fights at night; gets Abhimanyu and Ghatotkacha killed

28/36 False rumours that his son (or elephant) Ashwatthama is dead makes Drona lower his bow; Dhristadhyumna beheads him

29/36 Karna leads Kauravs despite knowing he is Kunti’s illegitimate abandoned firstborn. Ignorant Pandavs mock his low status

30/36 On Krishna’s advice, Arjun kills unarmed Karna as latter tries to pull out chariot wheel stuck in mud; consumed by guilt later

31/36 Bhim kills all Kauravs; drinks Dushasan’s blood; washes & ties Draupadi’s hair; unlawfully strikes Duryodhan fatally on thigh

32/36 The Pandavs celebrate victory. Ashwatthama sets aflame battle camp at night and kills Draupadi’s 5 sons & 2 bros as they sleep

33/36 Yudhishtir crowned king. Only surviving heir alive is Abhimanyu’s unborn son, Parikshit. Mother, uncle, aunt go to forest to die

34/36 After a long successful reign, Yudhishtir learns of Krishna’s death and renounces kingdom

35/36 Pandavs & Draupadi travel to mountains. All fall to their deaths except Yudhishtir who is granted access to paradise

36/36 Yudhishtir finds Kauravs in paradise! He is furious until he realises: as long as he clings to rage, heaven can never be his